Review: Black Mirror USS Callister

So I put on this Black Mirror show on Netflix because I came into the room and the kids had on that My Little Pony show and I was sick of it so I gave them a quick beating and sent them to bed. It was only 6:30 but I didn’t give a shit. Anyway, I saw this show and threw it on.

First thing I saw was Star Trek, so I kicked the fucking Net Stick thing and nothing happened. I know I didn’t put on Star Trek because that shit is on Hulu and every time I try to watch it I get totally fucking lost and then they’re all gaying out with these teletubby outfits and I just really can’t stand it.

Just when I thought it was Star Trek it went to some office thing I guess like where people go to work and there was all this “Have a coffee sir!”and “Good morning!” kinda bullshit going on and there was a guy there I recognized from the Star Trek and he was really macking on some hot piece of ass in the office. It seemed like she was having it but then maybe not, thanks to some hipsters talking to her and ruining it. Typical.

So then after that it turns out that the office was NOT REAL AT ALL and that they actually all lived on this awesome spaceship and planets where everything is fucking awesome and all these assholes you have to deal with are kissing your ass and you kick ass always everywhere all the time! I was like “FUCK YEAH DUDE!”

Eventually this girl that the hero was macking (that I mentioned above) wanted to totally get nekkid with the hero and he was just about to get laid and I was just about to see boobs when his phone thingie went off because something happened I’m not sure what I think the space ship ran out of gas and then he had to totally bail on getting laid and try to fix the “no-gas-situation” going on and still the ship got totally screwed up while he flew off into the space sunset. Total shock. I couldn’t believe it.

It goes to show you…women screw up everything every time!